05 February 2017

Not Tonight Darling: Keeping Intimacy Alive When You've Got Kids

Parents get used to kids coming into their beds unannounced, although this should be discouraged, hanging out in the bathroom while you’re showering or eating a piece of toast with one hand while helping kids tie their shoelaces with the other. So it’s vital that you make time for just the two of you because you may be parents, but you’re still husband and wife and regular intimacy is an essential ingredient in a loving marriage.

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Get a Babysitter--

Everyone needs a break once in awhile so don’t feel guilty leaving your kids with someone else because they’ll love time spent with granny, a trusted neighbor or even their favorite babysitter. You know that they're being safely looked after while baking cookies, or playing hide and seek at grandma’s house so why not turn the romance up a notch? Go out for a luxurious meal, enjoy a trip to the theater, or book a weekend away at a country hotel. You’ll love not be woken up at six in the morning, having to rush through breakfast because you need to help them with theirs, and having the chance to take a luxurious bubble bath without having to hear the words ‘mommy I need a go potty’.

Sleep in Your Own Bed--

This rule goes for you and them as exhausted moms and dads tend to fall asleep on their kid’s beds while comforting them after a nightmare. Enforce a ‘back to bed policy’ unless it's an emergency if your child wanders into your room at nighttime, firmly tell them it’s time to sleep and then take them back to their own bed. Kids love sleeping in their parent's beds, because it’s fun, different, and who doesn't want a cuddle? However, you need space just to be yourselves and to relax at the end of the day. You also need the freedom to choose what to sleep or not sleep in as regularly wearing tight underwear can lead to bacterial infections. If you end up getting one, you’ll need to visit a health clinic such as those experienced with dealing with trichomonal vaginitis, what is trichomonal vaginitis? A surprisingly common STD that affects millions of young men and women's sex lives.

Drop Mommy and Daddy--

While it’s fine to call each other by these names when the kids are around when they’re not lose the cutesy, parental titles and refer to each other by your actual names. You are not each other’s mom or dad, so it just sounds weird when couples refer to their partner as mommy or daddy without their kids present. Just because you became parents you didn't suddenly stop being Jack and Amber; you still have the same hobbies and interests from before you had children, and you’re still the same couple who love French cinema or who spent most of their student days reading in bed to each other. Don’t spend all your precious free time talking about the kids either. Why not discuss how each other’s day was? Who’s going to win the Superbowl? Which flavor of Ben and Jerry’s is the best? Anything that’ll steer you away from the topic of children.

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