29 November 2010

Here's a Little Rant. . .


As you may know I am a in the Navy, an E-5 prior Sonar Technician, on Active Duty for a little over 4 years now.  I got picked up for the STA-21 Program, and currently stationed at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia.  It's a life choice that I decided to put in a package for this program.  I work really hard to provide for my family.

. . . BUT. . . 

It's really taking a toll on me.  I am having a hard time adjusting to the 'college life'.  It's a new style that I'm not used to, kids with attitudes, and no goals in mind.

I'm having a hard time in my Precalculus class.  I only know it's going to get worse, because I have to go all the way up to Calculus 2.  Oh My Lord.  

I am a dedicated individual.  When I say something, I am going to do it.  I have had plenty of people tell me that I am hardheaded, stubborn, and won't take no for an answer.  Great attributes for the United States Navy.  Bad attributes for a wife and mother.  Sometimes I feel like I spend too much time doing my homework and not paying enough attention to my family.

I know it will all payoff in the future, but what if there is no future.

What if I die tomorrow.  Or what if I die in 2 hours?

Will what I am doing now take precedence over what I should be doing now?

People tell me they are so proud of me, wish they can do what I am doing.

By no means is it difficult.  I get a full ride through college while still collecting Active Duty Pay.  I come out with a nice degree and a commissioned officer.  Sounds like a good deal!

I just worry that in the meantime, while I am trying to reach Self-Actualization, what am I giving up in the meantime?!


Simplegirl said...

I can understand what you are going through. When doing one thing, one sacrifices the other, it's just the way it is unfortunately. But if you finish your degree, then perhaps you can enjoy your family afterwards, question is will you regret losing that time with them? As for me, I want to sell all of my shop items, not restock, take time off and just focus on my family. I have been sacrificing a lot and I can work anytime, but my family is growing & you never know if they'll be around or myself because life is full of surprises. Hope that there may be a balance for you:-) best of luck and success.

Haynes said...

I am a new follower

Ashley E said...

I can see where that would be a very difficult choice to make. When my husband would have to do things for work (army) I knew it was because of us. Especially now, having that education is so impt. Take a 30 minute break between studying and spend it with just them. It will pay off in the end. Don't worry about tomorrow, today has enough on its own.
Following you back!

Cheryl said...

It's always tough to juggle family with all the other commitments. Do the best you can & make time when you can. Moms always feel like their not doing enough - be proud of what you're doing!

Now following you back:)

kkfoster35 said...

Thanks for stopping by Avon by Karen

I am following you back ;.)

Can't wait to check it all out!


kkfoster35 said...

I am going to add you to my blog roll ... would you add me to yours?




Melissa Jackson said...

Thank you everybody for the kind words. . . I get so emotional sometimes. I try to balance everything, but it is soooo much! I'll keep ya updated. . .

Ambrosia said...

I'm following you back, thanks for stopping by.

I'd say that since you are even thinking about the things you are giving up right now, then your priorities are on track. I simply cannot imagine how busy you are or how stressful juggling all of that is. I have a hard enough time being a sahm to three! Keep up the work, though - it will be worth it in the end.

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